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They have naturally dark skin, and typically don’t require much makeup to bring out their beauty as they are exotic already in their own ways—from their curves to their sensationally sexy lips.

You dig me, you put in effort, you aren’t remotely tepid, we can relate to each other, and you make me feel like the things that are patently fucked about me are actually thrilling and vital and they somehow matter. You don’t believe me, but I spent years around this species and I appreciate them. I’m not saying I’m hot, and I’m not saying I’m disgusting, all I know is that to them, I am dipped in shit. Most guys I met preferred my flirty lady friends to me.

(And I know you’re exciting and I love your juicy booty, but that’s not the point.) Now imagine for a second that someone writes to me and says, “Look, you’re just ok and you’re old and you’re wasting your time on this bullshit.” (Um, no one does that, because this isn’t Salon.) But imagine that someone does tell me that. That said, though, I don’t want to follow their meandering bullshit wherever it leads, and I don’t want to flirt, and I don’t want to feed their egos. Usually, this starts after I open my mouth, but maybe not? Now sometimes slightly weird guys, slightly smarter, stranger, maybe more damaged or maybe just more sensitive guys (or both), they were a little intrigued by my not-buying-it face and my assertive here’s-what-I-fucking-think fat mouth, or maybe they just liked my ass, which truly was a force of nature for a time.

After five years of personal development I can confidently say that mindfulness is perhaps the most important skill I have learned in regards to self-mastery.

Not just sitting meditation but a practical everyday kind of mindfulness.

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